Each semester, the IETF awards four $1,000 college scholarships to students who have essential tremor through its Catherine S. Rice Scholarship Fund. As part of the application process, students are asked to write an essay on the topic, “how essential tremor has affected my life.” The following essay is from one of our spring 2019 scholarship recipients.
By Madison Young,
Arkansas Tech University
I turned 20 last month and read a list of 20 things every 20-year-old should know. Number 17 was “There Is No Roadmap.” That is very true. I can look back now and remember standing at certain crossroads and wondering which way to turn. Different paths have different benefits and obstacles. You can hardly see 20 yards down the path sometimes. As I look back on just a few of my turns, I realize that having essential tremor (ET) has had an impact on the choices I have made in direction, not in a negative way but an impact all the same.
Having ET does affect my life in a variety of ways. Some tasks are simply harder than they would be if my hands and arms would just be still. Plus, when the tremors take over my body, I get a little embarrassed because everyone notices, then they try to act as if they didn’t. It seems like there is a polite protocol for noticing something different about other people.
One of the turns ET has led me to make is my field of study in college. I am a rehabilitation science major planning on moving into physical therapy. Unlike people I will eventually treat/help, I can’t be rehabilitated from having ET. But it certainly causes me to relate. It gives me an advantage to helping others over someone who has never had an obstacle to overcome. I understand to some extent what it is like to be viewed as different.
In all of my classes we talk about people with disabilities, and the main point always made is most people have disabilities, but not always visible disabilities. We are all “disabled” in our own way. Some disabilities you notice right away and some you don’t. Being diagnosed with ET at such an early age has helped me learn a lot about human nature. I just want to be able to help people live the most normal lives possible.
Currently there is no cure for ET. I am ok with that. I am at peace with who I am and ET doesn’t define me or what I can accomplish. In my classes, I am learning how to help others reach that point and just deal with the situation in a positive manner. It is an empowering feeling to be able to help someone. And when you are helping someone, and they connect with you because you aren’t perfect either, it makes it all worth it. Yes, having ET has changed my life and my path, but I believe it is for the better.
It has been almost six years since my diagnosis and I can’t help but wonder where I will be at age 26. What will I be doing and how will my tremors have progressed? While there is no roadmap, there is a road seen clearly in hindsight. I hope I always remember to look back at my turns in life that have made the difference.
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Applications are being taken for fall 2019 scholarships from the IETF. If you are a current or incoming college student with essential tremor, complete the application on the IETF website. The application deadline is May 1, 2019.