Each semester, the International Essential Tremor Foundation presents four scholarships to students with essential tremor. The scholarships represent hope for the future, and provide support to these students during a pivotal time in their lives. As part of the scholarship application process, each applicant is asked to write an essay that answers the question, “How has essential tremor affected my life?” The following essay is from one of our spring 2018 scholarship recipients.
By Madison Young
Student at Arkansas Tech University
I knew when I went to college that my essential tremor would come with me and life would be something different than what I am used to. The friends and people I have been around have seen my hands and arms shake for years. Now there would be new people. Plus, the stress of college would kick up the numbers of tremors I have based on the amount of stress on my body. I knew I could handle it or hoped I could.
I am a rehabilitation science major/pre-physical therapy so there will be no easy courses, but I also know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I am not going to let a little tremor disorder dictate my path. Right now, I am in a rehab science class and it is all about how to help people with disabilities – how to cope, adjust and react. I had no clue going into this class that I would learn how to adjust to my own.
Yes, I was diagnosed when I was 13, but I have never thought about how this would affect my life long-term, or how I should or would deal with it. I have only thought about how I am just a girl with a little tremor disorder. I honestly haven’t spent much time considering the positive and negative ways I have reacted to having ET. Truthfully, I have continued to think unrealistically, that I could get better. Only recently have I started to adjust to thinking that this is my life, and this is how it is going to be, and it will be progressive. This acceptance and so many new things I have learned about myself and others are helping me move past the fact that I do have this disability.
I could compare having essential tremor to being left handed (I happen to be left handed) or having a hitch in your step. People do not notice it for awhile; they think they see some shaking, but dismiss it. Then they see it happen again, and again, and once they “really” see it, they can’t not see it. My new friends in college didn’t see it for awhile. Now they are constantly trying to see it – see how bad it is, wonder if they can do something to make it better and ask me questions. I know that it is all with good intentions, but it is annoying at times. It makes me wish that I had never confirmed what they thought they were seeing. I could have left the elephant in the room. However, we all have our disabilities, disorders and differences. I have decided it can be looked at as a way to connect with people and bond in a way that others cannot. College kids . . . we all have things that make us self-conscious, but we move past those thoughts together and use our newfound friendships to build a support network and celebrate the things that make us unique. Carry on world. I’m going to be just fine!
Would you like to support students with ET during their educational journey? Make a donation to the ET scholarship fund online.